Advice From an Escort on Where to Find True Love

In the private escort and companion business I get my share of questions from men and women about love, sex and dating. Every once in a while I get a message from a man asking me for dating help or love advice.

A man reached out to me via my Twitter and stated he wasn't seeking an escort service, but looking for some genuine advice on how he can look for love, meet new people, how to date nice women, and if I could I help, given that I have a lot of experience with interacting and partnering with women.

Whilst I don’t normally play the role of love doctor when messaged out of the blue by a random stranger (I’m a private escort after all), I felt the question was genuine enough for me to want to take the time to respond. I assume this person was indeed a real male, as their Twitter account handle and timeline posts would seem to suggest so.

Either way, the questions asked were valid ones, and my answers would apply to both men and women regardless.

Looking for love is unquestionably one the biggest challenges of life, and I must confess from the start that whilst I do dabble in this business, I am no dating expert and any advice I offer only comes from my own personal experiences and observations. Make of it what you will.

Make Yourself Available

To be honest, I have been on more paid escort dinner dates than traditional ones, and the one thing I have learned from all of my experiences is: make yourself available.

The catch is this: whilst you can put yourself out there to the world and be ready and open to bring new people into your life, you never know for sure when it is going to happen or who will be the person who will walk into your life when they do.

Life doesn’t work to our schedules or plans. Life is disobedient, unpredictable and undefined. These are frustrating things to work out for us all. And if you go up against all of this with a 101-point checklist of what your ideal partner will be and how they will fall romantically into your lap all perfect and wonderful and not a thing out of place, not only are you likely to be dissatisfied, you are not going to be prepared and open for when a genuinely good person comes along.

So always be prepared, available and open.

But what do you mean “be prepared, available and open”?

This is what I am talking about:

Learn to Be Comfortable With The Unknown

You are guaranteed nothing out of life, so you need to take your own steps and actions to achieving what you want out of it.

Who really knows if you will ever find that special someone, or even if the person you are with right now is the perfect one for you. Life is full of unknowns. Life is all about uncertainty. So learn to be comfortable with the unknown and with uncertainty. Don’t shy away from them. Open yourself up to being more uncertain and take risks by adventuring into the unknown.

It doesn’t have to be anything major like trekking off to Peru with only a passport and a toothbrush, it could simply be trying new things on a restaurant menu or talking to that cute stranger on the train. And that sense of unease that accompanies uncertainty will get much better the more you practice it.

Let Go of Your Standards

I don’t mean that in a promiscuous way. More than likely you have some sort of mental checklist of what an ideal partner to you looks like and what you are looking for. Some people even go so far as to have a detailed laundry list that goes as far as to what types of TV shows their ideal partner will like and dislike.

I knew one girl, for example, who openly stated that she could never date a man who liked eating Skittles or watching the TV show Mythbusters. And she was deadly serious.

Well I wish anti-Skittles girl the very best of luck. All you are doing is making life harder on yourself if you feel you need to find your perfect someone who not only meets your stringent criteria, but also clicks with you, sets off the proverbial love fireworks, and likes you equally in return.

As an alternative, try dropping your set of ideals and simply be open to who comes along. Instead of being certain about who you want in your life, opt for curiosity and be at ease with not being so certain.

Become Emotionally Self-Sufficient

Drop the fantasy that some special person out there will pop into your life and be the answer to all of your emotional, physical and financial needs. Instead of hoping, commit yourself to doing and tackle your problems yourself. You don’t need anything more than what you already have right now. Who you are right now is perfect. But always strive to enrich yourself and grow. Learn something new. Experience new things. Listen to music you have never heard before. Read more books.

Be Interesting and Do Interesting Things

Discover your street, your suburb, your city in ways you have never done so before. Start by walking a different path on your way to and from work each day. Do things that you find interesting and exciting, and don’t worry what others might think. Take yourself on solo adventures and activities. Create something. Write a poem. Do things that make you different and unique from other people. Always challenge yourself. Do something that scares you.

All of these will build to help you to show how you are an interesting person who is fun to be around with loads of exciting stories to tell.

Get Your Body and Finances Sorted

Come on, nobody wants to date a loser, least of all jump into bed with one. Certainly not you or your perfect life partner. Look after your body, both physically and mentally. Exercise and get fit. I’m not talking Arnold Schwarzenegger or six pack abs fit, but healthy fit. Mediate and relax more. Look to become debt free. Cut up your credit cards or at least reduce their limits. Start saving money for a rainy day, but don’t turn into a Scrooge.

Remember to keep being awesome all the time.

Even if you only end up doing a few things from this list, you will be well organised for when love turns that corner, knocks you over and Cupid’s arrow leaves you smitten.

Good luck. x